Culture Crime Carbonara — the Dish That’ll Get You Banned from Rome

Alright, friends. Let’s commit a cultural food felony together, shall we?

This is not your nonna’s carbonara, unless your nonna had a rebellious streak and wanted to be exiled forever. This dish is unapologetically inauthentic, wildly delicious, and fully aware that it might get us hate comments from Italian food purists. But guess what? We're still making it. And you should too.

It’s the comfort of a classic carbonara, but with a spicy Korean twist that somehow just works. We’re talking crispy bacon, glossy noodles, umami-packed, and that creamy rich sauce that dreams are made of.  A silky, punchy bowl of pasta that clings to your soul the way carbonara clings to each noodle.

 Ingredients

• 500g bacon (or pancetta, or guanciale - but I'm poor) 

• 3 large egg yolks

• 1 cup fresh grated parmesan (Pecorino is traditional, but we’re already breaking rules and I already had a block of parm.) PLEASE do NOT use pre-shredded or grated. It matters much more in a dish with so few ingredients like this. 

• 1 lb spaghettoni (or whatever pasta you want honestly.)

• 2 tbsp gochujang 

• 1 tsp soy sauce

• 1 bunch green onions, thinly sliced for garnish

• Fresh cracked black pepper (don’t skip it)

Method 

1. Start with the bacon
Slice it up and toss into a cold pan. Bring the heat up slowly so the fat renders out and the bacon gets crispy, not burnt. Patience, friend. 

2. Make your sauce base
In a bowl, whisk together your egg yolks and grated cheese . Then stir in gochujang and soy sauce. This is your flavor bomb. Set aside.

3. Pasta time
Boil your water and salt it like the sea right before the pasta goes in. Cook your spaghettoni until juuuust shy of al dente, about 30 to 45 seconds before the package says it’s done. It’ll finish in the pan.

4. Marry the bacon and pasta
When the pasta’s ready, do not drain it. Use tongs to transfer it straight into the bacon pan (heat off). Then stir like you mean it. It should combine nicely and be shiny and you should not be able to see fat and liquid separately. 

5. Temper your eggs like a pro
Here’s the science-y bit: You can’t just toss the egg mix into the pan or you’ll get scrambled sadness. Instead, take a few spoonfuls of the hot pasta water and slowly whisk them into your egg/cheese/gochujang mix. This gently warms the eggs so they don’t seize when they hit the pan. This step is critical or you've just wasted all this time for nothing. 

6. Sauce it up
Now pour your tempered sauce into the pan with the pasta and stir-stir-stir (vigorously stir it). Keep it moving until everything is silky, glossy, and clinging beautifully. If it looks too thick, add a splash more pasta water. If it starts to break, more cheese and vigorous stirring will bring it back (Or should).

7. Garnish and serve
Plate it up like you’re charging $32 for it, top with green onions and black pepper, and bask in the glory of your food crime masterpiece.

Final Thoughts

Look. We know this dish is nonna-offending. But it’s also straight-up fire. The gochujang adds a slow heat and umami that plays so well with the creamy fattiness of traditional Carbonara. It’s rich but balanced, and will not disappoint your palette. 

So the next time you want comfort food with a twist, try this Culture Crime Carbonara. And if the pasta police show up? Just offer them a fork.

Feel free to check out my other recipes and helpful posts on the blog - no other culture crime recipes though.... yet... 

Tag me if you make this — I need to see the chaos unfold